Fantasy Guy versus Real Guy

  • Fantasy guy smells good.  Real guy farts out the chili he had for lunch.

  • Fantasy guy is well groomed. Real guy cuts his nails and lets the clippings drop to the floor.

  • Fantasy guy knows fine cuisine. Real guy puts the fries in his hamburger then dips the whole thing in bbq sauce.

  • Fantasy guy buys tampons for you. Real guy says “ARE YOU F#*+#&G CRAZY!!!!!” and tosses you a roll of toilet paper.

  • Fantasy guy buys you flowers. Real guy thinks flowers are a waste of money.

  • Fantasy guy gives you oral sex. Real guy says “I’ll do you if you do me first” then once he gets his happy ending he doesn’t bother to return the “favor.”

  • Fantasy guy is a billionaire. Real guy makes you pay for your dinner.

  • Fantasy guy buys you lingerie at Victoria’s Secret. Real guy takes you to the 99 cent store.

  • Fantasy guy never looks at other women. Real guy has eye radar for any tit (real or fake) and ass (big or small) that passes by!

  • Fantasy guy loves your curves. Real guy wants an anorexic.

  • Fantasy guy watches Lifetime movies with you. Real guy watches ESPN 24/7.

  • Fantasy guy hates strip clubs. Real guy walks into a strip club and they all know him by name “Regular.”

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© 2017 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

8 Responses to Fantasy Guy versus Real Guy

  1. There really are much better quality real guys out there.

  2. Eric says:

    You are one Crazy Chick!

    I have been pondering on this post.

    Reality seems a bit boring.

    Let’s get away from it all and jump off that great Cosmic Gerbil Wheel…

    Life should be a wild ride of Chutes and Ladders!

    😜

  3. Ms_Lindi says:

    I laughed throughout the whole post, because the irony of life is the funniest joke.

  4. My favorite post this year!! Had us laughing our asses off because it’s so fu**ing true!! 😉 You rock girl, preach it.

Talk to me :)

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