Questions I asked Mommy and Daddy

Looking at my childhood pictures reminded me of happy days filled with wonderings about the mysteries of the world. My innocence compelled me to ask questions, which my parents answered separately and together.

Will Santa give me that big doll house for Christmas?

Not this year sweetie. He’s on a budget.

Why do I have to order from the children’s menu when I can eat more than you can?

Small people must eat small portions.

Why can’t I eat more candy?

Because cavities are expensive.

Why do I have to go to school?

Dad: So you’ll know how to fill out a job application.

(Two frogs in my hand.) Do frogs really turn into prince charmings?

Mom: Eeeek!     Dad: Get that toad out of this house.

What’s divorce?

Mom: Community property.     Dad: Freedom

When can I get a boyfriend?

Dad: Never 

When can I get married?

Mom: When you fall in love.     Dad: Weddings are expensive.

What’s sex?

Mom: Sex gets you in trouble.     Dad: Girls don’t like sex.

What’s birth control?

Mom: Ask your father.     Dad: I have nothing to do with that.

When do I live happily ever after like in the fairy tales?

No Answer

As I learned the facts of life and experienced the daily chaos that thwarted my world order, I realized that the only magical thing about existence resides within my imagination. Happily ever after meant the end of the story … my story isn’t over. Happiness is in believing that I’m a beautiful work in progress who finds joy in laughing at the malfunction of the universe.

What’s your happiness?

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©2018 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

13 Responses to Questions I asked Mommy and Daddy

  1. Bodhirose says:

    Little kids are so innocent in their questions…mostly anyway. 🙂 And mostly our questions were responded to with sarcasm, inaccuracies, fear or “go away and don’t bother me right now.” Jeez, what’s a kid supposed to do?

  2. kdaddy23 says:

    I’d ask such questions and get bullshitted, deflected, ignored, and even told, “Because I said so!” To the question of what is sex, I was told, “You don’t need to know anything about that!”

    Really? The thing is, um, when I had questions that my parents weren’t willing to answer, I went looking for the answers… and found them.

  3. That certainly made me smile 🙂

  4. Eric says:

    Wish my parents had told me that sex gets you in trouble! 😜

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