Ready to Rumble at the Airport

I picked up a friend at the airport and almost got into a fight. This is how it went down.

I saw her waiting for me at the passenger pick up curb of LAX. I parked the car, popped the hood and got out to help her with her luggage. She grabbed one end I grabbed another but we couldn’t hoist the ton of bricks into my trunk.  She either packed a dead body or slabs of concrete because that sucker was heavy. My friend weighs about five pounds and how she got that lug from the baggage claim to the trolley was a mystery to me. We struggled for another minute until I told her that we should take out some of the contents to lighten it up. She searched her purse for the luggage keys but she couldn’t find it.

It’s summer in Los Angeles. I’d broken a sweat and my temper’s flaring Read more of this post

Why Keeping Your Mouth Shut is the Best Revenge

While at the bulk nuts section of my favorite specialty grocery store, I was scooping unsalted pepitas in a plastic bag when I heard three consecutive hey yous. I turned around and the guy behind me said  your purse is open and your wallet is about to fall. I looked at my bag and realized he was right. What a nice man I thought. So I quickly closed my purse and thanked him. He responded with a whatever, shook his head and walked away. So, I continued my shopping thankful of the averted pecuniary disaster and headed to the Read more of this post

The Shame and the Pleasure

Self-expression is the choice between satisfying the stirrings of my emotional conscience and burning bridges. Good behavior makes me feel like a soloist of a symphony with an indifferent, but hostile audience. Play flawlessly and the audience is silent, but hit a wrong note and receive hisses and jeers.

I don’t want to be difficult, disagreeable or MEAN, but I can be. I don’t want to be different for the sake of being unique, such contrivances are pedestrian antics of a lost soul. I’m no longer lost, but I haven’t reached my destination either. But I am/can be different because we cannot ALL BE THE SAME. In my circle of reality, I am the lone femme–single, never married and childless. 

I am an oxymoron moving within the flow of life. I go unnoticed and then a malfunction Read more of this post

Ready to Rumble at the Airport

Yesterday, I picked up a friend at the airport and almost got into a fight. This is how it went down.

I arrive just in time and saw her waiting for me at the passenger pick up curb of LAX. I parked the car, popped the hood and got out to help her with her luggage. She either packed a dead body or slabs of concrete because that sucker was heavy. She grabbed one end I grabbed another but we couldn’t hoist the ton of bricks into my trunk. My friend weighs about five pounds and how she got that lug from the baggage claim to the trolley was a mystery to me. We struggled for another minute until I told her that we should take out some of the contents to lighten it up. She searched her purse for the luggage keys but she couldn’t find it.

It’s summer in Los Angeles. I’d broken a sweat and my temper’s flaring Read more of this post

Blooming romance at the grocery store

Just when I thought chivalry was dead, a tasty piece of beefcake, who looked like Keanu Reeves and Tom Selleck hybridized in one luscious body, let me go in front of him at the grocery store line. I said thank you and he said no problem. I thought he was too busy re-arranging the various “whatevers” inside his cart to notice me, but when he flashed a dimpled smile my way, my mind conjured images of Keanu and Tom ala threesome. Read more of this post

Don’t Talk Smack About My Mac

My friend called me the other day and asked if I wanted to have dinner with him. He sounded stressed and when I asked him about it he said that his laptop was O.O.O. (out-of-order). What’s wrong with it I asked. Caught a virus and other issues; it’s time for a new one he said. I asked him how long he’d had his laptop and he said two years. I’ve had my Mac for six years I said. You still working with that thirteen incher he asked. Yeah I said. Macs suck he said. Why I asked. So he gave a slew of Read more of this post

Don’t Flirt on my Time

Patience is a virtue but not when I’m in line at Starbucks. I should have gone to the drive through, but the angel in me said that I should park and walk it because I could use the “exercise.” Big mistake … I walk into a long line. I hate lines and couple that with the slow as snail baristas and my patience melts away like a glacier in hell. While waiting I try to entertain myself with the knick knacks on the shelves and ponder the logic of buying a coffee maker there when I can buy a cheaper one at Target or Wal-Mart.

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