Food Fetish of my Blind Date

I know it’s been a while, but here’s an oldie but a goodie to remind you why you subscribed to my blog in the first place…enjoy and lots of love from your favorite Crazy Chick!

My happily married sister, a real estate agent, set me up on a blind date with a former client. He called me and for the next few days we talked for hours about film, books, music and being single in our forties. He’s divorced, no kids,  a technical writer and a self-proclaimed foodie. Our verbal dynamics promised a prosperous first date. I wasn’t expecting a love match, but I wasn’t expecting what I got either.

Read more of this post

Christmas Gift from Santa

Every year I ask Santa to give me something really good for Christmas. After all … I try to be good (in my own way) all year long and I should be rewarded for my deeds …shouldn’t I????

What do you think Crazy Chicks?

1_christmas

Read more of this post

Unintentional Sexual Thoughts

Lafemmeroar

Wikimedia Commons

I’m single and dateless, that also means I’m “sexless.” But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it. In fact I think more about sex when I’m not getting it. I think about sex multiple times a day–hell multiple times an hour and sometimes multiple times a minute when I have my quickie thoughts.

I can be teary-eyed while cutting up an onion, but my mind will be engrossed with thoughts about scorching the sheets with some hot fantasy male. In fact I’m thinking about sex now. I think about sex so much that I’ve suffered many embarrassing 

View original post 199 more words

My letter from Santa!

When I was just a wee kid who looked up to people because I was too short to look at them straight in the face, I believed in Santa Claus. I wrote him a wish list every year and I mailed it to the North Pole. I asked for big-ticket items like a bike, a phonograph (I’m dating myself here), a tape recorder (I thought I wanted to be a reporter but I really just wanted to use the device to snoop on people) and such.

Every year Santa always got it wrong.  When I asked for a pink bike I got a puke orange bike with no basket, but he did include a little honker. I knew that Santa wasn’t perfect but he always came close. One year I asked for a Baby Alive, a doll  that ate, drank, pooped and peed.

Imagine my surprise when I received a letter back from Santa:

Wikimedia Commons – Patrick Lentz from Boston, USA

Dear Petit Lafemme,

You have been a good girl this year. You reduced your pouting to every other day and you only stuck out your tongue behind your mother’s back once a week. What an improvement! You always get good grades even though you never do your homework and you only hit your siblings with an open hand. So this year I thought that I could finally give you the toy of your desire. Read more of this post

How Santa Can Make Christmas Suck

Every year I wish for Santa to give me something really good for Christmas. After all … I try to be good (in my own way) all year long and I should be rewarded for that …shouldn’t I????

What do you think Crazy Chicks?

1_christmas

Read more of this post

Appetite Control On Thanksgiving

The holiday eating frenzy will begin soon.

If you’re worried about gaining weight this Thanksgiving, don’t fret.

I’ve got some tips on how to curb your appetite on turkey day 🙂

 

Tip 1: Argue with a relative you hate!

The anger and stress will have you

reaching for the booze instead of the Read more of this post

Office Trash

mybacksideopendoorpolicy

Get the CCC Badge

Join the Crazy Chicks Club

Join the Crazy Freaks Club

Join the B.A.D Club

© 2014 Lafemmeroar

%d bloggers like this: