What men really mean

Ever wonder what men really mean?

Wonder no more. I’m here to give you the 101:

A man who criticizes the size of a woman’s ass is actually criticizing the shortcomings of his schlong.

A man who says “I can do better than you” is actually saying “I’m not good enough for you.”

When he says “I think we should see other people” what he means is that he wants to catch an STD, but he doesn’t want to give it to you.

When you see “your new guy” in an awkward moment and he shrugs you off by saying

Cosmic Significance of Chaotic Events

I believe in the cosmic significance of chaotic events. Our lives, a farce or tragedy scripted by irony, contain moments of joy and sorrow. Joy is meant to be and sorrow occurs upon the malfunction of the universe. When chaos strikes I dig deep into my free will and force a chuckle out of misery because I refuse to

Here Come the Girls

Here’s a guest post from my good friend Phil from For Singles and Couples blog. He’s going to share some tips for us Crazy Chicks … ENJOY! 🙂

Here come the girls…

Another year has flown by and for all the highlights and low points which have occurred we’re now back round to ‘holiday season.’
It’s usually a time with emphasis on family, with the women ‘usually’ doing the ‘lion’s share’ of planning and preparation to host family, relatives, in-laws and friends.

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner and whether you’re going to Times Square or Trafalgar Square, a house party or a club…wherever you plan to spend it, it’s a time when people generally don’t want to be alone.

Advice for Bad Men

A fellow blogger named Eric is such a fan of my “whacky” blog that he took it upon himself to write today’s post. Make sure to visit his blog http://ericmvogt.wordpress.com. He writes poetry and short stories 🙂

♦♦♦♦

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lafemme. She kept getting approached by tall, dark handsome men. They would go out for a while and then turn into schlongs. Then she finally decided that it was just not worth it to be a schlong magnet. She would make some money off of it. So she started a syndicated newspaper article called Dear Schlabby.

She would direct all schlongs there for advice. She was really, really good at it, too. She saved many schlongs from beschlongings (sort of like a beheading but with a different organ). This was the first schlong to answer and start her adventure into tabloid stardom:

Schlongisms #1

When your pecker gets a woody

for another Chick

Lafemmeroarism #11–Worth Knowing

When you don’t know your worth

Remember you are PRICELESS.  

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Recipes for a Better Life

Detox Cocktail

1 part strength to boot him to the curb

1 part courage to live life alone (for a while)

2 parts hope that you’ll find a good guy–even if it takes years

6 good friends to talk to (optional)

and a whole lot of self-esteem (a must)

Instructions: Take a deep breath and execute the first ingredient as swiftly as you can. Then quickly develop the courage to be alone and blend with hope. Shake it up with some friends and bitch
to them some more about what you should have done ages ago. Now, dust yourself from head to toe with a whole lot of self-esteem.

No Date Cake

Awesome Lists from a Crazy Chick

This is the wisdom that emanates from my noodle …

Things a Virgin Would Say

I was a virgin once and I did say some of these things … can you guess which?

Quotes from a M.I.L.K. 

If you’ve heard any of these lines from your man, then give a hoot about someone else …

5 Ways to Repel a Man