Itchy Private Parts

Lafemmeroar here with another bit of news from an alternate universe:

Itchy Private Parts.

Wikimedia Commons--TechCrunch50-2008

Ashton Kutcher addressed the temporary insanity that overcame his noggin during his involvement with big mouth tartlet Sara Leal. “I had an itch that needed scratching and now I’m sorry to say that the itch continues because the antibiotics aren’t working. That woman is a walking bacteria that infected my marriage. I plan to seek treatment and will be checking into the “Tail Between My Legs Center for Wayward Schlongs,” says the remorseful “Two and a Half Men” star. The alleged cause of the itch Sara Leal was unavailable for comment but sources confirm that she was seen entering a free clinic on Hollywood Blvd while avidly scratching her twatty