The Consequences of Bad Habits

Controlling your “desires” is a cheap solution to an expensive divorce. 

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

How to Get out of a Bad Relationship

As a single, never been married Crazy Chick I am the self-proclaimed expert on relationship exorcisms. I have performed many and I’ve helped other chicks as well 🙂

You need a relationship exorcism when:

♦ you’ve become a zombie because his mind has taken over your whole being

♦ he’s turned from being your friend and lover to being your tormentor

♦ he thinks you’re a punching bag

♦ your credit card is maxed out from charges he made to P.O.R.N. (P@ssy Open and Ready Now)

Revenge on a “Cheating Man”

Revenge can be HOT read on to find out!

Men love to objectify women and there is a “thing” called a real doll that men can have sex with if they have a couple of thousand bucks to throw down. She’s sexy. She’s beautiful. She never gets fat ’cause she can’t eat. She never talks back ’cause she can’t speak. She never complains, criticizes or judges ’cause she can’t think. She never threatens to leave ’cause she can’t walk. She can however, be positioned in anyway a SCHLONG would like ’cause she’s very dexterous and she won’t mind a threesome, a foursome or a gang bang.

Yes, she’s the perfect woman ’cause she’s made of plastic. But she can also do some “real damage” to a schlong. Imagine this:

The Crazy Chick Revenge

The Crazy Chick Revenge

He’s hurt you. Your heart feels like hamburger meat that’s been thrown to the dogs and your self-esteem has gone on vacation on the lonely island of self-pity. We’ve all been through the hell of hurt by a bad SCHLONG. And yes, despite the benevolence of heart we try to embody, it feels damn good to ruminate on the malevolence of REVENGE.

I’ve often ruminated on the orgasmic thought of getting even. And if we didn’t have the police and if there weren’t such a thing as Karma, or a conscience—oh the things I would have liked to do to some of the SCHLONGS I’ve known.

What men really mean

Ever wonder what men really mean?

Wonder no more. I’m here to give you the 101:

A man who criticizes the size of a woman’s ass is actually criticizing the shortcomings of his schlong.

A man who says “I can do better than you” is actually saying “I’m not good enough for you.”

When he says “I think we should see other people” what he means is that he wants to catch an STD, but he doesn’t want to give it to you.

When you see “your new guy” in an awkward moment and he shrugs you off by saying

Falling in Love

with every word you said

that never lived up to its meaning

I’ll fall in love

with every promise you made

that turned out empty

I’ll fall in love

with each cunning praise

Searching

Many lives have been crossed

In time, In space, In search

Of the haunting unknown

Whether it be cruel

Gracious or unfeeling

Being Sad Sucks

Dear Readers,

Lately I have been thinking that I’m a rather insensitive person. I laugh at the malfunction of the universe because it’s better than crying about it … I say it all the time because … frankly …

being sad sucks…

But I just realized that I haven’t really had a deep thoughtful cry in a very long time. And as “light” as I try to be on this blog, I must admit that my mind is a twisted knot of convolutions most of the time. So … I’ve been asking myself why I react and do certain things the way I do …

I’m a crazy chick when I’m at my best … but is that it? Is it enough to live life always looking at the bright side or the funny side of things? Love? Life? Loss? Relationships? I don’t know … 

I know I’m being nebulous, but … I’m cryptic and private that way.

I’ve been so comfortable in not feeling sad that perhaps I’ve given up on true joy? I mean in the most deep soul-filling way …? I don’t know. I just keep telling myself that being sad sucks … and I haven’t been sad in a long time. 

So I repeat … lately I’ve been feeling rather off balance as if I’m on the verge of … I don’t know what … maybe I don’t want to know. All I know is that struggling doesn’t make one strong … but it does make one understand better. I want to understand myself better … I want to understand people better … I want to understand you better … I want to be more emphatic … sensitive … and I think this requires a bit of letting oneself face the firing squad.

Here’s hoping that the firing squad are bad shots …

I think I need to feed my soul with writing instead of cocktails tonight …

Be well … my friends.

All my best,

L

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© 2013 Lafemmeroar

Lies, lies, lies …

The best and the smartest have been victims of duplicity.

There are real good liars out there …

and there are some real good believers of lies.

It happens to the BEST and to the WORST of us.

Here are some example of how to detect when someone is “Pinocchionizing” you:

Schlongisms #1

When your pecker gets a woody

for another Chick