December 13, 2015 5 Comments
December 15, 2014 6 Comments
When I was just a wee kid who looked up to people because I was too short to look at them straight in the face, I believed in Santa Claus. I wrote him a wish list every year and I mailed it to the North Pole. I asked for big-ticket items like a bike, a phonograph (I’m dating myself here), a tape recorder (I thought I wanted to be a reporter but I really just wanted to use the device to snoop on people) and such.
Every year Santa always got it wrong. When I asked for a pink bike I got a puke orange bike with no basket, but he did include a little honker. I knew that Santa wasn’t perfect but he always came close. One year I asked for a Baby Alive, a doll that ate, drank, pooped and peed.
Imagine my surprise when I received a letter back from Santa:
Dear Petit Lafemme,
You have been a good girl this year. You reduced your pouting to every other day and you only stuck out your tongue behind your mother’s back once a week. What an improvement! You always get good grades even though you never do your homework and you only hit your siblings with an open hand. So this year I thought that I could finally give you the toy of your desire. Read more of this post
November 3, 2014 9 Comments
The holiday eating frenzy will begin soon.
If you’re worried about gaining weight this Thanksgiving, don’t fret.
I’ve got some tips on how to curb your appetite on turkey day 🙂
Tip 1: Argue with a relative you hate!
The anger and stress will have you
reaching for the booze instead of the Read more of this post
November 24, 2013 5 Comments