Appetite Control On Thanksgiving

The holiday eating frenzy will begin soon.

If you’re worried about gaining weight this Thanksgiving, don’t fret.

I’ve got some tips on how to curb your appetite on turkey day 🙂

 

Tip 1: Argue with a relative you hate!

The anger and stress will have you

reaching for the booze instead of the

Crazy Chick Cafe–Mean Man: Episode 1

Hello dear readers. I’m happy to announce that I’ll be starting a new cartoon series titled “Crazy Chick Cafe.” If you’re wondering about the title, the answer is easy–I love to eat and I love to cook. Image all he havoc I can cause when exacting revenge using simple kitchen tools and my twisted noodle. 🙂

How to Diet on Thanksgiving

Argue with that relative you hate!

The anger and stress will have you reaching for the booze instead of the

The Devil Made Me Eat It

My raging appetite is like a randy man-whore constantly out on the prowl for his next piece of bootie.

Excess is never good, which is why I’ve tried to tame my lust for food with simple self-control. If I want cheesecake, I eat a slice instead of two. If I want ice cream, I have a scoop instead of three. If I’m craving pasta, I have one serving instead of several. My onsies food strategy worked and I looked svelte without the SPANX. 

Schlong Salad

It’s not vegan, but it’s still good for you.

Imagine the look on a bad Schlong’s face

when he realizes that he’s eating one of his own kind!

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

How to Diet on Thanksgiving

Argue with that relative you hate!

The anger and stress will have you reaching for the booze instead of the

Schlong Sausage Recipe

I once got a Protest Letter from a Blog Reader saying that I had better stop blogging about schlongs and revenge because it ruined his relationship and caused him to be homeless. He said that my blog was detrimental to his well-being (or something like that). So I invited him to come stay with me as a prisoner guest. Then I promised readers that I would let them know what happened to him.

If you read the post, then you’d know that I also mentioned a Spicy Schlong Sausage Recipe in there somewhere. It’s been almost a year since that post, but I have not yet made the Spicy Schlong Sausage for the following reasons:

Decadent Chocolate Mousse Recipe

Warning: This recipe doesn’t involve any schlongs–so guys relax … ya know I luv ya.

Once again, I am featuring one of my favorite You Tubers out  there — The Sweetest Vegan.

She is making a decadent vegan chocolate mousse recipe with a secret ingredient. I’ve made this recipe and it’s YUMMYLICIOUS! You need to watch the entire video because she has some funny outtakes.

Food Contamination

Lafemmeroar here with a very overdue blog post:

Okay, so I’m still into my vegan kick (except I still eat a little chicken and fish — sometimes) and I’m totally off dairy. I’m learning how to make lots of good healthy stuff. My latest concocktion is making coconut yogurt. I’ve never tried it, but I love yogurt and those probiotics would be good for my gut so I went for it.

I only needed two ingredients:

Young thai coconut (I bought a case at the asian store)

Probiotic powder

You basically take about 3 cups of meat and 1 part of the coconut water (at least that’s the ratio I’m working with) then whirl it into the blender. Once it’s all nice and smooth drop 1 or 2 capsules worth of probiotic powder, then put it in a jar to “ferment” the way some single ladies do sitting on a bar stool by their lonesome waiting for some guy to talk to them. After about 4 hours (or more) the yogurt should have cultured and it’s ready to be put in the fridge to cool.

Now, the hardest part of this process is opening the coconut . I’ve seen tons of You Tube videos on how to open a coconut. You basically whack the coconut on top three times with the bottom edge of a butcher knife and pry open the “head.” I didn’t have a butcher knife, but I did have a cheap knife and a hammer. So, off I went and whacked

Recipes for a Better Life

Detox Cocktail

1 part strength to boot him to the curb

1 part courage to live life alone (for a while)

2 parts hope that you’ll find a good guy–even if it takes years

6 good friends to talk to (optional)

and a whole lot of self-esteem (a must)

Instructions: Take a deep breath and execute the first ingredient as swiftly as you can. Then quickly develop the courage to be alone and blend with hope. Shake it up with some friends and bitch
to them some more about what you should have done ages ago. Now, dust yourself from head to toe with a whole lot of self-esteem.

No Date Cake