The Consequences of Bad Habits

Controlling your “desires” is a cheap solution to an expensive divorce. 

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Here Come the Girls

Here’s a guest post from my good friend Phil from For Singles and Couples blog. He’s going to share some tips for us Crazy Chicks … ENJOY! 🙂

Here come the girls…

Another year has flown by and for all the highlights and low points which have occurred we’re now back round to ‘holiday season.’
It’s usually a time with emphasis on family, with the women ‘usually’ doing the ‘lion’s share’ of planning and preparation to host family, relatives, in-laws and friends.

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner and whether you’re going to Times Square or Trafalgar Square, a house party or a club…wherever you plan to spend it, it’s a time when people generally don’t want to be alone.

Health, Excess and Holiday Stress

Thanksgiving took a toll on my body. I ate and drank as if it were the last day on earth.When I woke up Friday I found a note on my pillow.

***

Dear Lafemme,

By Tibor Végh (Tenerife 2010 124.JPG) [CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

After months of eating healthy you finally cleansed your body of the toxins you’ve been polluting it with for most of your life. And in one day you ruined all that hard work by opening your pie hole to all that fatty food loaded with butter, eggs and who knows what else. To top it off, you imbibed so much booze that you were barely able to walk straight at the end of the night. What kind of way is that to treat your inner organs? Do you want to end up looking like a crazy chick version of this whale man on the beach?

Have you no shame?

Double My SPANX

Unless I starve myself for a week (and that’s not going to happen), I’ll look like a sausage that’s come out of its casing in  the putrid olive bridesmaid dress I’m sentenced to wear for my girlfriend’s wedding next week. I needed help. So, I  bought myself some SPANX. For years I’ve denied the idea of using a girdle, oh excuse me body shaper as they’re called now, but I have to face facts. I can’t look svelte without any help.

I bought the SPANX Slim Cognito Shaping Mid-Thigh Bodysuit with a “Super-Duper” slimming level according to the product description. I put it on then I put on the dress. Not bad. And if I held my stomach in all day, fixed my hair a certain way that actually made my cowlick work for me, and dusted my face with make-up I would look (oh dare I say it) like a MILF as my friend the MILK  had said.

Then I wondered if the SPANX would hold up. Would my muffin top re-surface against the powerful hold of SPANX after I’ve had a half-dozen glasses of champagne, and consumed the bread, salad, the surf and turf menu with dessert and wedding cake served at the reception? Would my svelte line maintain? I had drunk a bottle of water during my musing and things were already getting a little tight. So, I went online and ordered another pair. Doubling up on the SPANX would surely support my “svelteness” even after drinking and eating my heart’s content. Wish me luck next week dear readers as I surely will need it.

SPANXfully yours,

Lafemmeroar

© 2011 Lafemmeroar