I asked my 12-year-old nephew if he will still let me kiss him and pinch his cheeks when he’s 30. He gave me a WTF look, but he nodded his head and said yes. What man, at the prime of life would want an old crazy chick pinching his cheeks in front of a “chickadee”? But he couldn’t hurt my feelings. Kids are so sweet when they lie …
In trying to get my niece and nephew to eat more vegetables, I gave them a tall glass of spinach and parsley smoothie. When I asked them if it was good, they both chimed in and said “it’s really good Auntie Lafemme” even though they both looked like they were about to HURL. But they Read more of this post
We’re all a little crazy because many of us grew up in less than stellarhomes. So, I thought I’d make this list for you. If you answer yes to at least five things on this list, then you belong to that oh so special group of people who survived the hell that was their childhood.
When you asked for permission, your father said “go ask your mother” and when you did she said “go ask your father.” And when you asked them together, they whacked you on the head for bothering them.
Alcohol was a staple item at mealtimes like dinner rolls.
Your parents spiked their coffee.
Your parents spiked your milk bottle.
You learned how to lie at a very young age–beats a beating!
When other kids drew sunshine and flowers next to their parents, you drew skull and bones.
You call your boyfriend “Big Daddy.”
Your parents told you the world is shit and you took it literally until you realized it was a metaphor.
You thought “boundaries” meant locking yourself in a room to fantasize about an “alternate reality.”
You thought all mothers ran around the house screaming what her life would have been like if she never met your father.
Imagine a cherubic face smiling at you or little feet running on a meadow of flowers. They’re always clean, they’re always smiling and playing with such delight.That’s what you see on post cards. This is Fantasy Kid.
There’s another type of child. The kind that cries, the kind with dirty hands and mouth … the kind with wet and stinky tushies.
This kid has pirated the single and free lifestyle.They won’t eat when they should, they wake up when they shouldn’t, and they break things. They can be unruly especially in public places. This is the Real Kid
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