From Hell to Pleasure–A Poem

Oh no! Save me!


{Dear Friends … it’s been a while, so here’s a re-post of a poem in honor of Halloween}

Twas all Hallows Eve and all through the house

I heard creepy noises could it be a mouse?

I checked all the rooms and down through the hall

Then I heard it tap tapping right through the wall

My heart filled with fright and I ran to the door

Ready to scream then I tripped on the floor

I lifted my head and out came a creature

It looked like a monster from some sci-fi feature Read more of this post

The Man from Malutopia–A Story of Genital Proportions

In the world of Malutopia lived an alpha male named Zeuks Strong. From his swagger and his muscles to his talent in seduction, Zeuks represented all that is manly and good in Malutopia. Zeuks along with his fellows schlongers Dionassus, Pervinsky, and Dickends worked, played and lived up to the Malutopia philosophy: Spread your seed for your need to breed. Read more of this post

Revenge on a “Cheating Man”

Revenge can be HOT read on to find out!

Men love to objectify women and there is a “thing” called a real doll that men can have sex with if they have a couple of thousand bucks to throw down. She’s sexy. She’s beautiful. She never gets fat ’cause she can’t eat. She never talks back ’cause she can’t speak. She never complains, criticizes or judges ’cause she can’t think. She never threatens to leave ’cause she can’t walk. She can however, be positioned in anyway a SCHLONG would like ’cause she’s very dexterous and she won’t mind a threesome, a foursome or a gang bang.

Yes, she’s the perfect woman ’cause she’s made of plastic. But she can also do some “real damage” to a schlong. Imagine this: Read more of this post

Movie Remakes that Stunned Me–Warning:This post is not for the faint hearted …

Hollywood Sign

Hollywood loves to do remakes. But should you really mess with a good thing? Well … you know Hollywood … anything for a buck. So I wasn’t surprised when I was cruising  my favorite low-down-n-dirty second hand bookstore and found these DVD titles gathering dust. So guess what I did? I bought them all! Read more of this post

The Crazy Chick Revenge

The Crazy Chick Revenge

Screen Shot 2011-10-31 at 10.59.16 PMHe’s hurt you. Your heart feels like hamburger meat that’s been thrown to the dogs and your self-esteem has gone on vacation on the lonely island of self-pity. We’ve all been through the hell of hurt by a bad SCHLONG. And yes, despite the benevolence of heart we try to embody, it feels damn good to ruminate on the malevolence of REVENGE.

I’ve often ruminated on the orgasmic thought of getting even. And if we didn’t have the police and if there weren’t such a thing as Karma, or a conscience—oh the things I would have liked to do to some of the SCHLONGS I’ve known.

Read more of this post

Schlong Sausage Recipe

I once got a Protest Letter from a Blog Reader saying that I had better stop blogging about schlongs and revenge because it ruined his relationship and caused him to be homeless. He said that my blog was detrimental to his well-being (or something like that). So I invited him to come stay with me as a prisoner guest. Then I promised readers that I would let them know what happened to him.

If you read the post, then you’d know that I also mentioned a Spicy Schlong Sausage Recipe in there somewhere. It’s been almost a year since that post, but I have not yet made the Spicy Schlong Sausage for the following reasons: Read more of this post

Rhyme and Reason of Divorce

I was talking to a friend the other day who is getting divorced after MANY years of marriage. So I found this old post of mine. This poem is for her and for all the women who have been wronged by the man they loved …

Wikimedia Commons – PD-US

Let us make a pact and call it quits

These last days of turmoil has sent me into fits

With screaming and crying and stomping my feet

It’s no wonder that I’ve stayed up nights without any sleep

While you map out a life exciting and new

I am burdened with the past and happy memories are few

BUT WHEN you made the mistake of straying from me

Your betrayal comes with a hefty fee Read more of this post

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