Translations at the Nail Salon

I like to zone out when I’m getting my mani pedis. This is my weekly routine. I walk inside the nail salon with my iPod in full blast. In my opinion, this is the best nail salon in my area. The owner greets me. She is Vietnamese. All of the ladies working there are Vietnamese. The owner says something (I don’t hear it), but I smile and wait for Peggy my manicurist. When I see Peggy she smiles and says something (I don’t hear it), and I follow her to her station. As I’m following the petite Peggy I accidentally bump into a not so petite grumpy looking manicurist who looks like she just sucked on a lemon. I say excuse me, but she says nothing. I get to Peggy’s station. I sit, close my eyes, and zone to the music as I feel the pulsing of warm water tickling my toes while Peggy begins on my right hand. This is my time for solitude; no one else exists.

Then my iPod shuts down. The battery is dead. I take off the earphones with my free hand and a cacophony of voices replace

Real or Fake?

Technology has the power to alter our appearance. And we’ve all seen “those” addicted to “technology.” They look one way today and another the next … and we’re thinking “is that you?” Or you say to yourself “that alien looks awfully familiar.” But if someone wants to enhance their looks … I say MORE POWER TO YOU CHICK! We have the right to augment whatever we want for these modern times gives us the power to be and to look however we want to look. And if a smaller nose or bigger breasts can make us smile when we look in the mirror why not? Now, if some of you are wondering if “my girls” are au natural … the answer is I’m too poor and too much of a chicken to ever go under the knife. 

Real or not … pink haired chick

is having lots more fun. 

Maybe these chicks need to dye their

hair pink as well?

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© 2013 Lafemmeroar

Jesse James Relationship Outlaw or Medical Phenomenon?

Lafemmeroar here again with the latest crazy celebrity news and gossip that is just too juicy to be true:

Jesse James (JJ) cheated on America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock and when she booted him to the curb, he went on to find love with tattoo queen Kat Von D, but that didn’t last either when she found out he’s been swinging his schlong to other “glorious holes.” A recent report by Schlong Swing Online states that JJ cheated on Kat with nineteen different women during their relationship. But JJ denies this and to prove his innocence, he submitted to a lie detector test and to everyone’s surprise JJ passed with flying colors. When asked how he pulled it off JJ stated, “I did not cheat on Kat. My schlong was true to her.”

Well folks JJ’s private physician Dr. Drew Penilehickey reveals that

Itchy Private Parts

Lafemmeroar here with another bit of news from an alternate universe:

Itchy Private Parts.

Wikimedia Commons--TechCrunch50-2008

Ashton Kutcher addressed the temporary insanity that overcame his noggin during his involvement with big mouth tartlet Sara Leal. “I had an itch that needed scratching and now I’m sorry to say that the itch continues because the antibiotics aren’t working. That woman is a walking bacteria that infected my marriage. I plan to seek treatment and will be checking into the “Tail Between My Legs Center for Wayward Schlongs,” says the remorseful “Two and a Half Men” star. The alleged cause of the itch Sara Leal was unavailable for comment but sources confirm that she was seen entering a free clinic on Hollywood Blvd while avidly scratching her twatty