Falling in Love

with every word you said

that never lived up to its meaning

I’ll fall in love

with every promise you made

that turned out empty

I’ll fall in love

with each cunning praise Read more of this post

Searching

cropped-screen-shot-2010-04-25-at-1-42-55-pm.jpgMany lives have been crossed

In time, In space, In search

Of the haunting unknown

Whether it be cruel

Gracious or unfeeling Read more of this post

Being Sad Sucks

Dear Readers,

Lately I have been thinking that I’m a rather insensitive person. I laugh at the malfunction of the universe because it’s better than crying about it … I say it all the time because … frankly …

being sad sucks…

But I just realized that I haven’t really had a deep thoughtful cry in a very long time. And as “light” as I try to be on this blog, I must admit that my mind is a twisted knot of convolutions most of the time. So … I’ve been asking myself why I react and do certain things the way I do …

I’m a crazy chick when I’m at my best … but is that it? Is it enough to live life always looking at the bright side or the funny side of things? Love? Life? Loss? Relationships? I don’t know … 

I know I’m being nebulous, but … I’m cryptic and private that way.

I’ve been so comfortable in not feeling sad that perhaps I’ve given up on true joy? I mean in the most deep soul-filling way …? I don’t know. I just keep telling myself that being sad sucks … and I haven’t been sad in a long time. 

So I repeat … lately I’ve been feeling rather off balance as if I’m on the verge of … I don’t know what … maybe I don’t want to know. All I know is that struggling doesn’t make one strong … but it does make one understand better. I want to understand myself better … I want to understand people better … I want to understand you better … I want to be more emphatic … sensitive … and I think this requires a bit of letting oneself face the firing squad.

Here’s hoping that the firing squad are bad shots …

I think I need to feed my soul with writing instead of cocktails tonight …

Be well … my friends.

All my best,

L

Get the CCC Badge

Join the Crazy Chicks Club

Join the Crazy Freaks Club

Join the B.A.D Club

© 2013 Lafemmeroar

How kids can make you thin

Clipart from Clipartheaven.com

This morning my girlfriend and her two kids (a cute little three and a half-year old girl hellion and a brooding 16-year-old boy) came over to pick me up for breakfast at IHOP. I was running late as usual so I let them in  and finished drying my hair in the bathroom. When I turned off the dryer I heard the little hellion yelling “baby baton, baby baton.”

The hellion was running from my bedroom down the hall and in her hand was my newly purchased (and thankfully unused) Slender Wonder vibrator. The hellion then stopped running, inspected the “baby baton” and turned the pink nub. The baby baton started to buzz  to which the hellion continued her parade and began to chant “buzzing baby baton, buzzing baby baton.” I ran after her, but I wasn’t quick enough for she jumped on her brooding brother’s lap, who was sitting in the living room texting. She waved my Slender Wonder in front of his face. I was mortified. He looked confused. Then the hellion dropped my Slender Wonder on his lap Read more of this post

Appetite Loss and Bad Vibrations of the Baby Baton

Clipart from Clipartheaven.com

This morning my girlfriend and her two kids (a cute little three and a half-year old girl hellion and a brooding 16-year-old boy) came over to pick me up for breakfast at IHOP. I was running late as usual so I let them in  and finished drying my hair in the bathroom. When I turned off the dryer I heard the little hellion yelling “baby baton, baby baton.”

The hellion was running from my bedroom down the hall and in her hand was my newly purchased (and thankfully unused) Slender Wonder vibrator. The hellion then stopped running, inspected the “baby baton” and turned the pink nub. The baby baton started to buzz  to which the hellion continued her parade and began to chant “buzzing baby baton, buzzing baby baton.” I ran after her, but I wasn’t quick enough for she jumped on her brooding brother’s lap, who was sitting in the living room texting. She waved my Slender Wonder in front of his face. I was mortified. He looked confused. Then the hellion dropped my Slender Wonder on his lap and ran to her mother who was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. I immediately grabbed the vibrator from his lap,  rushed to my bedroom and stashed it back inside my night stand. Moments later my friend came in the room with the hellion. I told her what happened. She then said that I should lock “those things” up like she does.

Well dear readers, one benefit of being single, alone and childless is that the only thing I need to lock up is the front door. I am entitled to have a bevy of sex toys (which I don’t; in fact I just bought the Slender Wonder to replace the old vibrator that broke) if I wanted to.

We proceeded to IHOP and I ordered my usual spinach and mushroom omelette with hollandaise sauce. But the food had lost its appeal because the hellion couldn’t sit still. She kept chanting “baby baton” and for some reason she decided to mop the dirty floor with her hand. The brooding boy was no longer brooding either. In fact, he kept looking at me with a sideways grin in between his constant texting.

Was he texting about me? Was he telling his friends about his mother’s BFF and her “baby baton”? My paranoia escalated and my appetite deflated. I would have asked for a doggie bag, but the hellion dipped her hand in my omelette and began licking hollandaise on her palm.  We paid the bill and my friend asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with them. The answer was obvious. They dropped me off  and as I watched her SUV drive away I wondered how she balanced sanity and children. I immediately threw away my Slender Wonder. After this morning’s incident, I would never get any pleasure out of it. Memories.

I’ve often wondered how some mothers actually become thinner after pregnancy. It doesn’t happen to all, but I’ve seen friends who have become skin and bones after pregnancy. Then I realized that children can be the biggest appetite suppressant of all.

Dejectedly yours,

Lafemmeroar

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Kirstie Alley Woman of the Week

She’s been through hell on the tabloids and now she’s dancing her way back into our hearts and yes our funny bone in “Dancing with the Stars.” From skinny to beautifully blimpy, Kirstie Alley has been through the gamut of weight loss and weight gain. I love her in any shape, size and form. Her performance in “Dancing with the Stars” is so entertaining. I love the way she glides on the dance floor with just the right kind of attitude. I cheer her on every week.

Here’s to you Ms. Alley for being just who you are as we all should be.

Watch Kirstie Alley in Dancing with the Stars on ABC:

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

%d bloggers like this: