Four Types of Femme Fatales

An oldie but it still rings true … read and find out why:

A recent conversation with a very distraught and angry friend got me thinking about the damage women can do to men. Recently dumped by his girlfriend he ranted about how women are nothing but sneaky, gold digging liars who destroy men’s lives. I didn’t argue over his generalization or that he was talking to a woman. He was in too much pain to be challenged.

via IMDB

via IMDB

Basically, he bought her a new car, new boobs, a new nose and now she’s got a new man. She was a goddamn femme fatale he said. I had met the woman. So, I told him about the four types of femme fatale and since he’s a film buff I used a few movie references to support my descriptions
The Classic Femme Fatale in film noir seduces the man to commit the crime. In “Double Indemnity” Barbara Stanwyck two-times Fred MacMurray, but not before she convinces him to murder her husband. He couldn’t resist her so he killed for her. Classic femmes use their sexuality to compromise a man’s morality and ethics for a piece of prime tail that these men unknowingly have to share. Read more of this post

Four Types of Femme Fatales

A recent conversation with a very distraught and angry friend got me thinking about the damage women can do to men. Recently dumped by his girlfriend he ranted about how women are nothing but sneaky, gold digging liars who destroy men’s lives. I didn’t argue over his generalization or that he was talking to a woman. He was in too much pain to be challenged. Basically, he bought her a new car, new boobs, a new nose and now she’s got a new man. She was a goddamn femme fatale he said. I had met the woman. So, I told him about the four types of femme fatale and since he’s a film buff I used a few movie references to support my descriptions.

Read more of this post

Double My SPANX

Unless I starve myself for a week (and that’s not going to happen), I’ll look like a sausage that’s come out of its casing in  the putrid olive bridesmaid dress I’m sentenced to wear for my girlfriend’s wedding next week. I needed help. So, I  bought myself some SPANX. For years I’ve denied the idea of using a girdle, oh excuse me body shaper as they’re called now, but I have to face facts. I can’t look svelte without any help.

I bought the SPANX Slim Cognito Shaping Mid-Thigh Bodysuit with a “Super-Duper” slimming level according to the product description. I put it on then I put on the dress. Not bad. And if I held my stomach in all day, fixed my hair a certain way that actually made my cowlick work for me, and dusted my face with make-up I would look (oh dare I say it) like a MILF as my friend the MILK  had said.

Then I wondered if the SPANX would hold up. Would my muffin top re-surface against the powerful hold of SPANX after I’ve had a half-dozen glasses of champagne, and consumed the bread, salad, the surf and turf menu with dessert and wedding cake served at the reception? Would my svelte line maintain? I had drunk a bottle of water during my musing and things were already getting a little tight. So, I went online and ordered another pair. Doubling up on the SPANX would surely support my “svelteness” even after drinking and eating my heart’s content. Wish me luck next week dear readers as I surely will need it.

SPANXfully yours,

Lafemmeroar

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

The MILF and the MILK

Okay, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share this, but here goes.  Last night, prior to that dreaded elevator incident I blogged about earlier, I was having dinner with a male friend who said that he was giving up younger women and start dating older women.

Since this guy was in his early to mid-fifties I joked that he could visit the local senior center and he’d find one there. No, he said. I’m talking about the MILFs (mothers I’d like to @%#&) like the ones in the videos. But they’re younger than you are I said. But they’re MILFs he said. Okay, enough I said and asked him why the switch from the nubile twenty somethings he usually dated. And he said because they’re hot. I agree that women of a certain age are hot and can even be hotter than their younger counterparts who might become MILFs one day.

Define the MILF I said. A hot older woman who likes to have sex he said. That was me I thought. I was hot for sex only I didn’t have anyone to do it with.  Didn’t you think that older women had always been hot I said? Sure, but the ones in the videos are smokin’, were his exact words.

The conclusion: Men are influenced by porn. Everyone knew that right? But it took this conversation with a platonic male friend to cement the idea in my head.

During dessert (I ordered the cheesecake . . . bad idea) he said you know you’d be the perfect MILF if you dressed sexier, put on more make-up, and changed your hair. Then I said you’re definitely a MILK. What’s that he said.

Answer: Man I‘d Like to Kick.Screen shot 2011-07-02 at 12.54.36 AM

MILFully yours,

Lafemmeroar

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

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