October 30, 2014 7 Comments
October 16, 2014 11 Comments
Wonder no more. I’m here to give you the 101:
A man who criticizes the size of a woman’s ass is actually criticizing the shortcomings of his schlong.
A man who says “I can do better than you” is actually saying “I’m not good enough for you.”
When he says “I think we should see other people” what he means is that he wants to catch an STD, but he doesn’t want to give it to you.
When you see “your new guy” in an awkward moment and he shrugs you off by saying Read more of this post
September 23, 2014 21 Comments
I’m single and dateless, that also means I’m “sexless.” But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it. In fact I think more about sex when I’m not getting it. I think about sex multiple times a day–hell multiple times an hour and sometimes multiple times a minute when I have my quickie thoughts.
I can be teary-eyed while cutting up an onion, but my mind will be engrossed with thoughts about scorching the sheets with some hot fantasy male. In fact I’m thinking about sex now. I think about sex so much that I’ve suffered many embarrassing Read more of this post
September 19, 2014 8 Comments
Patience is a virtue. I went to Starbucks and while I had intended to go through the drive through my tush said that I should park and walk it because I could use the “exercise.” Big mistake … I walk into a long line. I hate lines and the slow as snail baristas melts my patience like a glacier in hell. While waiting I try to entertain myself with the knick knacks on the shelves and ponder the logic of buying an overpriced coffee maker.
Hallelujah I’m next. Only the chick (flashing silicone cleavage) in front of me is flirting with the order taker (the horny half-wit). The two talk about clubbing, partying and other mindless “ing” activities while the last person in line (me) is chomping at the bits for her caffeine fix. The guy behind the counter sees me, Read more of this post
September 18, 2014 17 Comments
The word “commitment” isn’t in his vocabulary: But he knows how to say “no strings sex” and “I need to see other people” in 5 different languages.
He’s still looking for himself: If he’s lost, then you’ll never find love with him.
He’s exactly like your ex-boyfriend: This one is a no-brainer … DUH!
His words don’t match his actions: He says you’re the only woman for him, while his eyes fixate on the blonde bombshell and her knockers.
You don’t speak the same language: You say potato–he says potaTOH. You say relationship–he says bootie call. Oh just call the whole thing off. Read more of this post
March 26, 2014 26 Comments
I needed to post this again for my new readers … 🙂
I was with my friend the other night and I showed her my blog. She cruised the site and said your blog seems biased against men. So I said it is? And she said yeah, and she read out loud some of my blog titles: