Crazy Chick Cafe #3: The Purge

Hello Readers,

Thought I’d share more of my insanity with you. But before you go on I’d just like to remind you that should any of you try what I did, do so at the risk of your victim. Lafemmeroar should not be blamed, sued, or held responsible in the event that such risky tactics (albeit effective) may result in the idea that it’s okay to abuse food in such a cavalier way. Enjoy …

1_The Purge

Read more of this post

Crazy Chick Cafe #3: The Purge

Hello Readers,

Thought I’d share more of my insanity with you. But before you go on I’d just like to remind you that should any of you try what I did, do so at the risk of your victim. Lafemmeroar should not be blamed, sued, or held responsible in the event that such risky tactics (albeit effective) may result in the idea that it’s okay to abuse food in such a cavalier way. Enjoy …

1_The Purge

Read more of this post

Food Cravings and What They Mean to Me

I woke up this morning craving chocolate covered potato chips. Why is it that men wake up with hard-ons and I wake up craving  food that will go straight to my rump? The first thing I did was pour myself a cup of coffee and went online to research food cravings.

I found an article stating that food cravings are indicative of certain vitamin deficiencies in the body. I also saw a chart that lists the cravings, the vitamin deficiency and the healthier food alternatives available. Here’s my response to the chart:

Unless it’s a green jelly bean, the last thing I want when I have a sweet tooth is spinach. And why would I want to eat liver when I actually want dessert?

Can you imagine yourself drinking a cup of apple cider vinegar in the morning? I can’t. What I really need is an adrenalin shot so I can do what I don’t want to do throughout my day.

The healthier food alternatives to alcohol (don’t do drugs except over the counter) just can’t produce that “tipsy-wipsy” effect of three glasses of wine or a good shot of jack or a nice dirty martini. So, when I crave alcohol it means that I want a good excuse for getting stupid with my friends.

What happened to chocolate? If chocolate doesn’t have zinc, then it should.

I eat nuts, cheese and oranges everyday; yet, my appetite is still out of control.

I don’t mean to be facetious about the inner-workings of the human body and its relationship with food. I take my multi-vitamins everyday and I supplement them with other vitamins. So, the cravings must be in my head. The obvious answer is that I’m substituting food for unfulfilled desire (for sex? for a man?). I can ruminate that thought all day long. But I still want chocolate covered potato chips and no amount of liver, apple cider vinegar, nuts or bolts is going to stop me from satisfying my desire.

Here’s the link to the full chart.

Cravingly yours,

Lafemmeroar

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

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