From Hell to Pleasure–A Poem

Oh no! Save me!

 

{Dear Friends … it’s been a while, so here’s a re-post of a poem in honor of Halloween}

Twas all Hallows Eve and all through the house

I heard creepy noises could it be a mouse?

I checked all the rooms and down through the hall

Then I heard it tap tapping right through the wall

My heart filled with fright and I ran to the door

Ready to scream then I tripped on the floor

I lifted my head and out came a creature

It looked like a monster from some sci-fi feature

Revenge on a “Cheating Man”

Revenge can be HOT read on to find out!

Men love to objectify women and there is a “thing” called a real doll that men can have sex with if they have a couple of thousand bucks to throw down. She’s sexy. She’s beautiful. She never gets fat ’cause she can’t eat. She never talks back ’cause she can’t speak. She never complains, criticizes or judges ’cause she can’t think. She never threatens to leave ’cause she can’t walk. She can however, be positioned in anyway a SCHLONG would like ’cause she’s very dexterous and she won’t mind a threesome, a foursome or a gang bang.

Yes, she’s the perfect woman ’cause she’s made of plastic. But she can also do some “real damage” to a schlong. Imagine this:

From Hell to Pleasure–A Poem

Oh no! Save me!

 

{Dear Friends … it’s been a while, so here’s a re-post of a poem in honor of Halloween}

 

Twas all Hallows Eve and all through the house

I heard creepy noises could it be a mouse?

I checked all the rooms and down through the hall

Then I heard it tap tapping right through the wall

My heart filled with fright and I ran to the door

Ready to scream then I tripped on the floor

I lifted my head and out came a creature

It looked like a monster from some sci-fi feature

Protest Letter from a Blog Reader

I got this email from a reader and I thought I’d share it with you:

Dear Lafemmeroar,

I’ve been perusing your blog and noticed your posts about schlongs. You seem obsessed with this body part. Are you just angry at the schlong population in general or do you have penis envy? What’s all this whacking of schlongs in some of your poems? And what’s up with your recipes anyway? You’re not a cook. I haven’t seen one single recipe in your site that one can actually eat unless they’re cannibals. Imagine the consequences if the wrong person read your recipe on “How to Make a Human Burrito.” And for the record my ex-girlfriend read your Detox Recipe and now I’m homeless. In fact I had to sweet talk a chick into borrowing her laptop so I can write you this email. Despite your disclaimers “some people” actually believe what you write

From Hell to Pleasure–A Poem

Oh no! Save me!

 

Twas all Hallows Eve and all through the house

I heard creepy noises could it be a mouse?

I checked all the rooms and down through the hall

Then I heard it tap tapping right through the wall

My heart filled with fright and I ran to the door

Ready to scream then I tripped on the floor

I lifted my head and out came a creature

It looked like a monster from some sci-fi feature

‘Twas the Night of My Date–Poetic Revenge

‘Twas the night of my date, when all through the house

I ran like a loon while buttoning my blouse

Tucked in my purse was a condom just in case

We ended the night in amorous embrace 

My doubts I kept hidden and snug in my head 

Be positive said all the books I have read 

I sat and waited for his knock on my door

When no one came knocking my heart fell to the floor