From Hell to Pleasure–A Poem

Oh no! Save me!

 

{Dear Friends … it’s been a while, so here’s a re-post of a poem in honor of Halloween}

Twas all Hallows Eve and all through the house

I heard creepy noises could it be a mouse?

I checked all the rooms and down through the hall

Then I heard it tap tapping right through the wall

My heart filled with fright and I ran to the door

Ready to scream then I tripped on the floor

I lifted my head and out came a creature

It looked like a monster from some sci-fi feature

The Devil Made Me Eat It

My raging appetite is like a randy man-whore constantly out on the prowl for his next piece of bootie.

Excess is never good, which is why I’ve tried to tame my lust for food with simple self-control. If I want cheesecake, I eat a slice instead of two. If I want ice cream, I have a scoop instead of three. If I’m craving pasta, I have one serving instead of several. My onsies food strategy worked and I looked svelte without the SPANX. 

From Hell to Pleasure–A Poem

Oh no! Save me!

 

{Dear Friends … it’s been a while, so here’s a re-post of a poem in honor of Halloween}

 

Twas all Hallows Eve and all through the house

I heard creepy noises could it be a mouse?

I checked all the rooms and down through the hall

Then I heard it tap tapping right through the wall

My heart filled with fright and I ran to the door

Ready to scream then I tripped on the floor

I lifted my head and out came a creature

It looked like a monster from some sci-fi feature

From Hell to Pleasure–A Poem

Oh no! Save me!

 

Twas all Hallows Eve and all through the house

I heard creepy noises could it be a mouse?

I checked all the rooms and down through the hall

Then I heard it tap tapping right through the wall

My heart filled with fright and I ran to the door

Ready to scream then I tripped on the floor

I lifted my head and out came a creature

It looked like a monster from some sci-fi feature

Recipes for a Better Life

Detox Cocktail

1 part strength to boot him to the curb

1 part courage to live life alone (for a while)

2 parts hope that you’ll find a good guy–even if it takes years

6 good friends to talk to (optional)

and a whole lot of self-esteem (a must)

Instructions: Take a deep breath and execute the first ingredient as swiftly as you can. Then quickly develop the courage to be alone and blend with hope. Shake it up with some friends and bitch
to them some more about what you should have done ages ago. Now, dust yourself from head to toe with a whole lot of self-esteem.

No Date Cake