laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it
July 25, 2017 2 Comments
Disclaimer: This diet is very effective, but try it at your own risk or at the risk of your victim. Lafemmeroar should not be blamed, sued, or held responsible in the event that such risky tactics (albeit effective) result in the idea that it’s okay to abuse food in such a cavalier way.
September 16, 2014 2 Comments
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December 11, 2013 14 Comments
August 26, 2013 23 Comments
May 12, 2011 1 Comment
Ah, the beauty of youth is wasted on the youth. It was certainly wasted on me when I roamed the earth stuffing everything I could get my hands on inside my mouth thinking that I could live like a glutton forever and keep an effortlessly thin body. It was certainly wasted on me when I went around braless and thought that my breasts would remain taut and perky forever. Why is it that beauty is only represented by the young and thin? Why is it that beauty is only shown through the unearned perfection of youth?
It’s ironic that I never really thought about my looks or weight until I noticed the signs of “gravitage.” For me this was an overnight revelation. I wasn’t prepared. One day I was thin and perky and the next I was dumpy and slumpy.
Yes gravity and age are synonymous with death and taxes. It’s inevitable. It permeates our physical world and drives us insane. But imagine a world without the Vogues and Elles and the InStyles … can you? Considering the amount of magazines I have on my kitchen table, the answer to that would be no. I too have been captivated by the propaganda. I’ve spent too many dollars on beauty products. diets and exercise equipment whose powers can’t possibly fight against the natural law of “gravitage.”
So, I’m fighting back! I refuse to be dumpy and slumpy. From now on I see myself as a goddess of “volumptuousness” fit to be revered by a man who appreciates the enhanced beauty of maturity. There are men out there who like a little cushion in the rump. It’s comforting spooning with something soft by your side instead of a skeletal waif that only eats salad without dressing. It’s more fun to be with a body that’s alive in the pendulous movements of parts meant to be adored with kisses and caresses. And we are meant to be adored ladies …
Beautifully yours,
Lafemmeroar
© 2011 Lafemmeroar
Lafemmeroar 