What to Expect When You’re Single

Wikimedia Commons/Life.com

Life is a daily surprise. Just when you think you’ve got your future planned, fate throws in a monkey wrench wrecking the synchronicity of your world order. If you thought that you’d find your true love by now, but it hasn’t happened yet, don’t fret. I can’t predict your life expectancy, but I can predict what you can expect when you are single.


to be alone but not lonely

to be the one who takes out the trash including those on two legs

to be heartbroken, but not damaged

to enjoy flirting with bad boys just don’t expect forever

to not tolerate anything that makes you unhappy

to enjoy Girls’ Night Out

to look at every sexy male “ass” and not feel guilty about it

to “dis-engage” yourself from a male ass

to be the third wheel that adds humor and light in an otherwise dull pair

to never lose who you are

to cook for one and enjoy eating that one exotic ingredient that everybody hates and only you like

that the only rule in dating is to be yourself

that not all men know how to be just “friends” with a woman

to enjoy walks on the beach while dreaming of wonderful things to come

to never rely on the kindness of a strange, handsome man, but always be gracious upon such instances because you never know when a chance encounter can turn into a love match

to be in love with yourself for as long as you live

You can have a positive attitude about being single or you can blame the monkey wrench. What do you think? 

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© 2014 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

7 Responses to What to Expect When You’re Single

  1. Bodhirose says:

    I like your list and your independent, funny nature, Laf. And if you can’t love yourself how can you expect anyone else to…right? I’m nearing my second year as a single person (again) and have felt (mostly) fine being by myself. I’m open to another relationship but have never been one to go “hunting” for a man. Relationships for me have always just organically happened and that’s the way I like it.

  2. Let me add a few having joined the ‘single ladies club’ this year:

    to have a clean house, finally
    to climb into a made bed every single night
    to wake when you wish and sleep where you want in the bed
    to own the remote control and watch what you want on TV
    to see shows you want to see at the theater, finally
    to eat out at restaurants you enjoy without guilt
    to buy yourself flowers, every week because they are beautiful
    to have the entire walk in closet to yourself, happiness
    to pick where you want to go on vacation

    I am altogether certain I could come up with more but I will stop there. Love your list but thought these would help round it out.

  3. Lots of cheer in this. There is always a bright side to any situation, although sometimes I can’t remember what it is

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