Married for the Wrong Reason

Screen Shot 2013-08-25 at 12.18.09 AM

Marriages can be “divorced”

but a gift with a receipt is returnable

and you can even get cash back… (sigh)

Did you get married for the right reason?

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

33 Responses to Married for the Wrong Reason

  1. kalabalu says:

    Whatever the reason was..love, money or getting a partner to test 😉 Staying married is best..nothing is for me or him, both are in or out to begin..we can smile or fight to end..still we remain friends..little bitter..sometimes better..marriage is not about gifts we got..it is about we gifted ourselves to each other..no exchange ..no return..

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      What a wonderful way to be and a great attitude! I hope to entice such discourse with the post.Thank you so much for commenting and visiting my blog 🙂

      • kalabalu says:

        great post 😉 would visit again

  2. renxkyoko says:

    Sad. Very sad. T.T

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      It can be …

  3. La La says:

    I’ve been holding out for the right reason, although I don’t know too many people who have done the same considering three of my friends are already divorced before 30!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I feel the same way La La, but marriage does work for others and that leaves me hope.

      • La La says:

        Me too. 🙂

  4. El Guapo says:

    By the time we got married, my girl and I had been together so long (7 years) that it was mostly just the paperwork.
    Though I was a bit nervous when we had the ceremony.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Nerves can be a good thing … I like to think that you were taking the ceremony seriously. Marriage is a big step!

  5. I know this picture has made every one very thoughtful towards marriage and the commitment that it presents, and it rightly should, but I just couldn’t but laugh. Perhaps it’s because I have yet to find anyone that could inspire those kinds of feelings in me. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone. I’m still very young and have a lot to learn… and I also have a really inappropriate sense of humor.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I love inappropriate “senses of humor.” I”m glad this made you laugh. When I look at these cards … I just think I’m stating the obvious. It’s not the truth for all, but it’s true enough for many and I wish it weren’t so … but there you go. Enjoy your youth and your journey. You are a beautiful work in progress 🙂

  6. ZtarDaze says:

    I have seen and heard of people getting married for all kinds of reasons. Some good, some bad, some completely wacked out, and some just seemed to be for convenience.
    Personally I have been with my husband for 14 years. Together for 14 and married for 11 of those years. Is marriage a piece of cake? NO! You do have to work at it. Is it worth it? YES. Absolutely without a doubt. Have we had our major ups and downs, fights, all the crazy times and fun and all good and bad that have gotten us this far? You know it! Do we drive each other bat shit crazy at times? You better believe it!! Do we get frustrated and angry with each other? YES. But who doesn’t? Have we had the most amazing times together and made some absolutely amazing memories? YES!! Would I do it all over again? You BETCHA!! No we don’t have any kids so our reasoning for getting married wasn’t because I was pregnant. Funny enough, he was deploying just to another base and a SGT over him told us that if we wanted any real chance of getting to see each other, then it would be easier if we were married. So we eloped! We didn’t tell anyone for 2 weeks what we had done! I loved it! It was the most crazy and romantic thing we had ever done! I was 19 and he 22. Today I am 31 and he 34. We are still together to this day driving each other nuts and having a great time doing it. Trust me, marriage can be a great thing, if and when you find the one you know you can’t live without.
    We dated for three years before we got married. This was not something we just jumped into! Make sure you know your partner! I know Chris and I will be like the olden couples I grew up seeing sitting on their front porch in their rocking chairs and holding hands just talkin about the weather, and then frisky as teens at night chasing each other with our walkers!!
    Good luck guys!!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Ztar, I saw an old couple holding hands like teenagers a few months ago while I was waiting for a table at a restaurant. I thought it was so sweet. I had no idea whether they’d been together for 40 years or known each other for 40 days. But they just looked happy and content window shopping and my gaze followed them right down the block. Your comment reminded me of them. Have fun chasing hubby with your walker. Now that’s an image worth living for! 🙂

  7. Scoop Jackson..."News 60" says:

    I did one of these…married for the wrong reasons. Eight years of misery…gotta be so careful.

    Scoop

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I’m so careful that I’ve “never been.”

      • Scoop Jackson..."News 60" says:

        I am told if you get the right person and can keep the “love alive” marriage is a great, life-long ride! So far, I’ve struck out on that level of “greatness” I’m sorry to say…

        So, what if that picture of Scoop WAS really me? Would that make a difference to you? Are you more of an “outside looks” or “inside qualities” type of gal?

        Scoop

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          You can be hirsute and polka-dotted … you’re still cool in my book 🙂

          • Scoop Jackson..."News 60" says:

            Gee…me and my polka-dots thank you! But, for the record, all my hair covers up my spots!

            You like some cool words too, huh…(hirsute)! It can be fun when you send someone off to Google for definitions all the time.

            So you’ve written a book or two? Very good for you. What are a couple of things which you like to write about? If you could write about anything and it would be published, what would it be?

            🙂

            • Lafemmeroar says:

              I wrote the draft and revising it. But I once ghost wrote a non-fiction book … that was done in 3 months. I wouldn’t want to do any ghostwriting now although it was a pleasant experience.Let’s see … I just want to write about what I want to write about …

              • Scoop Jackson..."News 60" says:

                We are in agreement there. I started writing for a “content publisher.” Man, a lot of work for very little in return!

                Now I write about what I want to…”Scoop” gives me that flexibility.

                😉

                • Lafemmeroar says:

                  Writing is a very under-appreciated skill!!!!!!!

                  • Scoop Jackson..."News 60" says:

                    And a lot of competition too. With “self-publication” available to everyone, now anybody can be a published writer.

                    It used to require a lot more skill.

                    🙂

                    Scooper

                    • Lafemmeroar says:

                      I’m hoping to shop around for an agent … soon

                    • Scoop Jackson..."News 60" says:

                      I’m not familiar with the process of actually contracting an agent. You’ll have to let me know how that works.

                      🙂

  8. EllaDee says:

    Insightful post 🙂 I’ve been married twice for the wrong reasons… what can I say, I was young, a slow learner and unwilling to admit when I was wrong. However, wisdom sometimes comes with age, and I’m happily unmarried now for the right reasons 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Oh I love the ending of your comment! We all need to live and make choices for the right reasons … no on is perfect … but trying and getting it “right” is worth the effort. Thank you so much for commenting

  9. My husband and I will be celebrating our 11th year anniversary of marriage a week from now. We were engaged and dated for 2 1/2 years before hand, and though we were very young (he, 20 and me,21) I’m glad we did. We also waited 7 years before starting a family after marriage. The first thing – marriage – I knew was a huge commitment, but eventually took the plunge when I was certain he knew all of my dirt and skepticism towards men, but stayed with me regardless. We went into it more practically with our brains instead of plunging in with our hearts. After having my daughter we grew apart a bit and had new challenges, but we are, and always will be, there for one another. It’s a special thing finding your best friend and loving them, too. Main thing, whether single, dating, or married, is to stay optimistic and proactive in your current situation and be the best you can be for you, your future partner, or your spouse. It’s difficult to be nonjudgmental and have lasting relationships if you first cannot stop judging or giving up on yourself. Yes, it is true, someone can be “divorced” emotional and physically in a marriage-It takes work to intentionally overcome these things, but I think it can be done and is worth the effort to do so.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      When I published this post, I had no idea I would receive such thought provoking comments. Your statement “he knew all of my dirt and skepticism towards men, but stayed with me regardless” is wonderful. That is what I hope will happen to me when I find my partner in life. Congratulations on your marriage. You give me hope!

  10. I think sometimes there are no “right” reasons only “right now” reasons which may fade with time. Terrible to say, but with the persepective of time, pragmatism and yes even age I suspect this is a more honest view.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Time does answer the question to life’s questions … so frustrating though when wisdom comes only in hindsight. Then again … that is the blessing of being older … and wiser …. (sigh)

  11. Phil Gayle_For Singles and Couples says:

    This made me stop, sigh and intently ready the comments from the other Bloggers.
    I know I got married for the right reason, Love, finding my soul-mate, meeting my best friend, passion, sexual fulfilment. etc.

    I could have so easily been married for ‘seemingly’ good reasons in the wrong circumstance and to the wrong person. e.g. out of obligation, the taking of virginity and doing the right thing, becoming a parent when I wasn’t ready to but going along with a marriage anyway.

    I know I’ve said it before but I really do believe we all get warning signs before we go ahead and make that serious ‘official’ commitment, I know I did…
    Unfortunately, many ignore those signs, go ahead and get married anyway and deeply regret it later on.
    Much better to be single and sure, than to marry the wrong person and have regrets.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Phil! I love your comment. It’s so wise and honest … you’re right about the warning signs, but they do get swept under the rug of “new relationship bliss.” I’m so glad to know you because you always bring so much to my silly blog posts. 🙂

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