Crazy Chick Q & A #14

This week, meet Amy of Sharp Little Pencil’s blog:

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Why are you a Crazy Chick?

To quote Gaga, “I was born this way.”  My mom and grandma were both manic-depressive and therefore had very few, shall we say, social filters that stop most thinking people from diplomatically holding their tongues.  I was a singer/pianist in bars and clubs all over the world, toured and all the rest.  Got totally blotto in my 20s with everything I could get my hands on… and it’s free, when you’re a musician, so that made it all the worse… came home to detox.  Eventually got married, had a daughter who became her own style of Crazy Chick (Riley is an artist and helluva young woman)… I speak my mind (although, thank God, I’m on meds and therapy now), I’m a social justice activist, I’m that rare follower of Jesus who accepts that ALL paths led by love end up with some sort of heaven or Nirvana.  In short, I’m nuts.

Describe your blog in three words.

Honest.  Challenging.  Funny. 

What is the title of your favorite post? Why?

“I’ll Never Lose My Abrasiveness.”  An unapologetic history of my activism, my big mouth, and my defense of the disenfranchised.  If you want a look:   http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/02/03/ill-never-lose-my-abrasiveness-3-wd-weds/

If you could eat one food item for the rest of your life what would it be and why?

Let’s see… bread without butter would be a bore.  Ice cream without hot fudge, ditto.  I’ll say apples.  Hey, it worked for Eve!

Do you prefer to cook or eat out?

Definitely cook, because Lex (AKA my “last husband,” because if this don’t work out, ain’t nothin’ better) and I enjoy cooking together.  Unless, of course, you have another meaning for the second one… oh, never mind…

Describe your fashion style.

Funky.  We’re in Madison now, a college town, so I can wear ripped jeans if I want.  Lost a bunch of weight a few years ago, so I try to wear things that are form-fitting but not overtly slutty (hey, I’,m 55, and there are some things I would have worn 20 years ago, but the time has passed).  If I have that rare gig, it’s a little black dress, classic.  In church, usually jeans, because then when somebody homeless comes in, they’ll be more comfortable sitting near me.

Define the word sexy.

Unpretentious, confident, funny, intelligent, moves easily in all crowds – never talks down to anyone.  Chews with his mouth closed.

What’s your favorite: book, movie, music and television show?

Book, hands down:  Time and Again by Jack Finney.  Timeless romance set in turn-of-the-20th-century NYC.

Movie:  “To Have and Have Not.”  Bogey met Bacall and the world was never the same.  Her little dance out of the club, to Hoagy Carmichael’s playing, is classic.

Music:  I’m into alt female vocals at the moment:  Eisley, Imogene Heap, Regina Spector, Pink Martini, KT Tunstall, and two Katies:  Melua and Herzig.  Also the established femmes:  Rickie Lee Jones (a CC if there ever was one), Suzanne Vega, Sarah McLachlan, Indigos, Bjork… and Bonnie Raitt’s blues knock me cold.

TV Show:  NCIS.  I’m sorry, but Mark Harmon’s still got it!  Close second:  Criminal Minds… Shemar Moore!

What makes you mad?

Bullying (I’ll step in without hesitation if I see it happen), injustice (especially in the political arena)

What makes you happy?

A call from my daughter, a kiss on the neck from Lex, writing poetry.

What makes you sad?

Hey, manic depression can make me sad about EVERYTHING, but I guess war.  Senseless.

What’s your favorite color?

Purple.  I’m not waiting until I’m an old woman to wear it, either!

What are you most grateful for in this world?

The gifts given to me by God:  My singing voice, my writing, and my gift of gab.

What is the one achievement that makes you the most proud?

Pushing a future fine artist out of my womb and raising her mostly as a single mom.

If you could go back in time, what is the one thing you would change?

Hitler’s mom would have had an abortion.

What would you do if you were a man (anatomically correct) for a day?

Walk around and observe people’s reaction to me.  I’m fascinated by the sociological  perceptions of men vs. women.  That night, I’d go out in drag and see what that was like.  Wrote a poem about a cross-dressing man back in my home town; I don’t know if he was transgender, never knew him well, but he did pay his dues for being himself, and that earned him my undying admiration.  That’s strength:  Bucking the norm and come what may.  http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/frances-by-night/

If you had super powers, what would it be and why?

Wrote an unpublishable poem about it called, “Volume Control Grrrrl,” where I could flick my wrist and silence boom boxes and car stereos that bug me.  I’m an acoustic girl all the way.  Stand-up bass gives me shivers, ditto orchestral music, even though I can’t play it.

What is your dream job?

I have it.  I work from home on my blog, don’t have to make money or sit in a cubicle.  I already sang at Carnegie Hall when I was in my 20s.  Publishing poetry more would be what I look forward to.

Share 3 non-Wordpress sites that you just can’t live without. And tell us why.

NON-Wordpress?  On Tuesdays, I usually put in a dverse.com poem at their free-for-all, then click links at random and find extraordinary poets.  Buddah Moskowitz’s site, virtualpoetryreading.com.  All poets can call a number to literally “phone it” their own poems, and everyone can listen to the poet reading their own work.  Buddah’s like my brother from another mother!  Finally, a site I refer to as my poetic home away from home, Poets United.  But there are a gazillion great poets on both Blogspot and WordPress, whose sites are listed on the right column on my blog!

Describe your craziest day.

I had just sent husband #1 home to his mom in NYC; I was in Puerto Rico with our 2-year-old, Riley.  Had enough, needed to go home and get a divorce, knew I was about to move into my parents’ basement.  At 34.  Yeah.  Then I told little Riley that she had to say she was one and a half so I could hold her on my lap and not have to buy an extra seat and lug her car seat on the plane.  When the ticket agent looked at her, he said “Cuantos anos tiene usted?” she replied, “Dos,” holding up two fingers.  So the car seat came aboard.  But at least she told the truth – that was mean of me to ask her to lie.

We get to the airport back home and I’m in line waiting to rent a car.  I have a toddler on one hip, the car seat around my neck, three bags in hand, and then a guy tries to budge in front of me.  I said, “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, SCHMUCK.”  He looked at me and I was giving him “the squint,” which my daughter says scares the shit out of her, and he backed off.  By the time I got to my parents’ house, I dropped everything except Riley, dissolved in tears, and hugged my mom.  Within a half an hour, we were all laughing hysterically over the whole thing, including the divorce. Later, Riley and I were snuggled up and she said, “Funny day, Mommy!  What’s a schmuck?”

What would you do if today were your last day on earth?

The same thing I do every day.  Acting as though today IS my last day on earth, sharing the love, hugging strangers if they need it, buying coffee for homeless folks and then inviting them to sit down and chat, chopping veggies with Lex, texting Riley (she’s in SoCal), laughing as much as I can, crying when I need to, writing everything down, and meditating for peace.  My sister is a big Rapture Fundamentalist and she is always fretting about The Day and the fact that I’m going to hell for supporting my “gender queer” daughter (it’s like of like androgyny, but she loves women) and all the other LGBTQ folks I know.  She worries more about money and worldly things than I do.  I say, if Heaven excludes people like Gandhi and Oscar Wilde and George Gershwin, I don’t want to go there anyway.  I’d rather burn with my buddies than hang out with a harp and a bunch of mealy-mouthed Tea Party members.

Thanks Amy. Stay tuned next week for another installment of the Crazy Chick Q and A.

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