Unintentional Sexual Thoughts

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I’m single and dateless, that also means I’m “sexless.” But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it. In fact I think more about sex when I’m not getting it. I think about sex multiple times a day–hell multiple times an hour and sometimes multiple times a minute when I have my quickie thoughts.

I can be teary-eyed while cutting up an onion, but my mind will be engrossed with thoughts about scorching the sheets with some hot fantasy male. In fact I’m thinking about sex now. I think about sex so much that I’ve suffered many embarrassing Freudian slips because of it.

While inside a donut shop I said “sex” instead of “six. I should have just said “half-dozen.”

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I was listening to an oldies radio station in the car with a date and that song by Bill Haley and the Comets came on. I crooned “Rock around the cock tonight.” I forgot the “L.” The guy thought I was horny and easy. He was right about the first part. 

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I saw a hunky cashier at the gas station and I just wanted to eat him up. I said number “69” instead of number 10. Now 69 doesn’t even come close to 10, which goes to show you that I wanted nookie more than gas.

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I was sending an email and instead of typing “thorny territory” I typed “horny territory.” The damn spell checker didn’t recognize my mistake and I sent it through. The receiver responded with “lol, you need to go out more often.” Damn M.I.L.K. was right!

Tell me about your Freudian slips.

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© 2014 Lafemmeroar


About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

21 Responses to Unintentional Sexual Thoughts

  1. Nice one! I can’t come up with any Freudian slips of my own, but that’s probably because I’m thinking about sex….

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You man … you!!!!!!

  2. 10000movies says:

    You made me laugh again 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Home run!!!!! 🙂

  3. Practically everything I say is a double entendre, so Freudian Slips happen like every other sentence depending on who I’m talking to.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I believe you! 🙂

  4. totsymae1011 says:

    Maybe it would be a good idea for folk who aren’t getting any to be in some group with other sexless folk so they could possibly hook up and make something happen. Not just to for the sake of getting some but form real partnerships. It’s easy to go out there and just do it, which is the problem. That’s all some folk want.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      A real partnership is like a needle in a haystack. Hard to find… but it’s there just waiting.

  5. pinoy says:

    Of course you will think of sex more if you are not getting any.

  6. No slips for me, I write erotica to get it out of my system. The poetry is only the mildest form of it.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Ah…erotica…that’s a good way to release the tension… 🙂

      • Exactly. Even if you don’t share it (I do but only with a very select audience) it helps to release tension.

  7. Freud would have had a field day with you and all of your “slips!” 😉 Let’s hope you have that thirst slaked soon!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Even when I’m getting it…my thirst will never be slaked …. and Freud would be rolling in his grave!

      • Yes, when I’m getting it, I seem to want more, too. We’re such wild women!

        Freud would run from us!

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          Yes…he’d run. He’d find us too riveting for penis envy…

          • 🙂

        • Julian says:

          I like that kind of women -diffrent

  8. renxkyoko says:

    For some reason, I always get to type LUST, instead of must, trust, love, etc.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      hahaha, you’re having one of your own! 🙂

  9. Lafemmeroar says:

    Reblogged this on Lafemmeroar.

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