The Man from Malutopia–A Story of Genital Proportions

In the world of Malutopia lived an alpha male named Zeuks Strong. From his swagger and his muscles to his talent in seduction, Zeuks represented all that is manly and good in Malutopia. Zeuks along with his fellows schlongers Dionassus, Pervinsky, and Dickends worked, played and lived up to the Malutopia philosophy: Spread your seed for your need to breed.

Zeuks was an expert seeder and breeder. If one were to take an accounting of his spawnings, one would see lots of tots peppered throughout Malutopia (with dark wavy hair, blue eyes and the Strong birthmark–a broken heart behind the left ear) being dragged by harried mammas left to love and endure the burden of single motherhood, which was the rule in their world.

Zeuks was of course the undisputed leader of the schlongers. He earned this honor during a size and endurance competition when he and his friends stood around in a circle and compared schlongs. It was determined that Zeuks was the biggest prick and the most expert at bumping and grinding the hardest and the longest. Unknown was who he bumped and ground although it can be said that whoever it was had a big hole in her head for agreeing to participate in the contest for orgies were permitted, but not required of the femmes.

Such leadership often required Zeuks to mentor the lesser schlongs on the best way to:

screw with a woman’s heart and mind

capture a resistant woman

vanquish the woman once their novelty wore of

After a night of debauchery with a very stunning, but nameless redhead Zeuks woke up alone in his bedroom. He felt satisfied and refreshed that morning. He stretched and scratched his balls, but to his surprise they were gone and when he ran his hand across his chest, he felt two very ample mammary glands. He immediately ran to the mirror and before him was not Zeuks alpha male, but a woman. Zeuks had transformed into a voluptuous Zelda overnight.

He took off his boxers for a genital check, and to his horror, his schlong was now a pretty little “girly part.” He thought he was going crazy so he texted his fellow schlongers to come over. Once they arrived they of course saw Zeuks Zelda naked for in his her confusion she had forgotten to get dressed.

The men asked for Zeuks and when Zelda said, “It’s me fellow schlongs. Something terrible has happened,” the schlongers laughed and began to eye the naked woman before them. For a naked woman, according to the Malutopia Manifesto meant a free for all.

Dionassus began to contemplate taking Zelda up the rear, Pervinsky thought about tying her up and whipping her for fibbing about who she was and Dickends’ thought about how he would blog about this encounter as his schlong grew harder and harder. The three schlongers approached Zelda and began to grope her. She told them to stop.

“You don’t mean that. Or you wouldn’t have greeted us lewd and nude, ” Pervinsky countered.

“Yeah,” Dionassus replied as he began to unbuckle his belt.

“Cooperate woman,” Dickends replied stroking his schlong from root to tip.

Zelda ran into the room and locked herself up. This was her friends and they were acting like animals. Of course, this was normal behavior for the men in Malutopia, but now that Zeuks Zelda was on the receiving end of this behavior everything suddenly felt wrong. But Zelda had to think quick as the schlongers were banging on the door. “I’ll come out on one condition,” Zelda screamed through the door.

“You can’t give conditions, you’re a pussy not a schlong,” Dionassus replied.

“Open up or we’ll report you to the Malutopia Behavioral Institute for non-compliance,” Pervinsky shouted.

“You probably haven’t even been fertilized and it’s our duty to plant our seed into you. Now open up,” said Dickends.

Pussy? Non-compliance? Open up? Fertilized? Duty? Zelda didn’t want any of  the schlongs inside her. Hell she was a schlong herself last night. And the thought of a baby bump from one of them nauseated her. It was in this moment that Zelda realized the malfunction of the Malutopia ways.

Why did Zeuks turn into Zelda? What will the schlongers do? Will Zelda accept her new fate in life? 

To be continued …

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

35 Responses to The Man from Malutopia–A Story of Genital Proportions

  1. Liz Shaw says:

    LOL You’ve got to watch out for those redheads! They’re a vengeful sort.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You’re foreshadowing my next installment … thanks for visiting and I hope you come back soon 🙂

  2. Bleau says:

    Zeuks has to be a Scorpio (No offence to any Scorpio’s but I did live with one 30+yrs) “How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign” by Adele Lang and Susi Rajah best describes it – a friend gifted me with the book about 25 yrs too late haha. Looks like someone may have put an excerpt here: http://scorpiosingles.tribe.net/thread/7b9a3da0-ca18-49b4-baa7-5d9f2c8d10bf LOL Looking forward to your next instalment. Always a pleasure visiting your pages 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      As usual thanks for your comments and I’ll definitely visit the link.

    • l says:

      Unconventional, with a lotta poetry (greet us nude and lewd),definitely creative (although choice of subject may be debatable)

      The entire post has a feel of a tale being told in the third person

      Once upon a time there lived….. kinds

      I think the next part is getting to a point about power play

      Read the except suggested by bleau… being a ‘bug’ (aka scorp) in the star signs (& male) felt most was bit over rated – ‘underwear shedding’ come on !(though humorous),

      The part on grudge is true, so is waiting for the perfect moment. Will disagree about not confronting the target

      Manipulate would be a strong word, influence would be apt

      Would love to know if Zelda turns out to be a scorp

      No doubt, one of your most creative and authentic posts, it surely has a feel you let your self go all the way.

      • Lafemmeroar says:

        Zelda doesn’t turn out to be a scorpion. I did let myself go in that I didn’t over think the story or the plot, but I tried to manage some technical control with the writing … 🙂

  3. beider says:

    Ok this was just weird. Sounded like a story taken from some weird fetish site… gender swapping, way too much talking about schlongs, and in general WTF?

    Anyway looking forward to the next part 😛

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Actually the other day, a FB friend and subscriber posted an article about gender neutrality. I read the article and came up with this story. I haven’t included any fetishes YET 🙂

      • beider says:

        Hmm, you mean you haven’t included any on purpose yet ^^

        I count at least 5,
        Utopian male fantasy (not sure of the name of this fetish, but the treatment of women as objects)
        Penis worship
        Gender transformation
        Rape
        Forceful breeding (getting women pregnant against their will)

        There are probably more in there as well, but those were the ones I noticed right away.

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          OMG, lmao, this was a story on the fly and I didn’t really think too much and just wrote the first words that popped into my noodle. My problem with writing is that I over think it to death. I’m a lot more freer with blogging so I just write away … glad you saw all those things though …:)

      • beider says:

        Well you probably shouldn’t think too much of it, I have probably just read too much weird and kinky shit so I start seeing it everywhere. And really, it doesn’t matter what you write about, there is always someone who will find it erotic… creepy as that may be.

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          This was just meant to be funny/satirical NOT erotic 🙂 Creepy can be erotic … I don’t see anything wrong with that.

  4. imakeeper says:

    Zelda needs to embrace her new inner woman and beat the schlongs up…. perhaps, getting a pet lion to attack them would work? Interesting (and different) story so far… 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks. I had fun writing it. Stay tuned for more 🙂

  5. So glad you started your short story section! I think your fiction is more revealing than your non-fiction.

    Can’t wait to see what happens to Zelda.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Interesting comment. Why is my fiction more revealing than my non-fiction? 🙂

      • When we right non-fiction, we’re essentially just translating how we digest the world around us, which is then re-digested by those that read it.

        I think when we write fiction, we’re depicting a specific story and world which I believe is harder for a reader to skew. It allows us to be more creative with our interpretation of the world, which opens up an entire world of possibilities and angles we can take. More opportunity means a chance to be more specific in relating your views.

        Granted, fiction doesn’t always have to be the personal beliefs of the writer, this particular story is definitely reinforced by the theme of a lot of your other content.

        Perhaps it’s all just subjective though. I may just relate better to fictional messages than literal!

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          You are very perceptive. 🙂

  6. dial3ct says:

    very good. I enjoyed it a lot.
    My friends and I are writing a book. if you would like to check it out please visit it at : http://miscreants2011.wordpress.com
    thanks and good luck with your writing.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks. I enjoyed writing it. Stay tuned to see what happens to Zelda/Zeuks 🙂

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  8. Patti Kuche says:

    This reads like Margaret Atwood on acid! And I have never laughed at any of her stories, more’s the pity . . . can’t wait for the next exciting episode!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I’ve read Atwood so thank you very much for your compliment 🙂 I can’t sleep tonight so I’ve been writing this whole time.

  9. sguimo says:

    I just re-read this story to a friend on the phone! We both thought it was hilarious!!! ENCORE!!!!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Oh, you’ve made my DAY … you make me feel awesome 🙂 Stay tuned for more.

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  12. Very creative! I enjoyed reading.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you. Part 2 should be posted next week 🙂

  13. hi Lafem

    I never got around to reading this post initially but I knew I wud cum back to it someday
    talk about bursting with creativity

    this is one of the best posts I have ever read!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks for “cuming” and reading. I’ve got parts 2 and 3 written, but I’m still tweaking them 🙂

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  15. Holy revengeness! Loving it. You roar just fine, Missy, lol.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks Crazy Chick! 🙂

      • 😀

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